“Come back and tell me why, I’m feeling like I missed you all this time.” – T.S.

Forgive my excess here. For reasons I can’t ken, I feel the need to log four posts in this 24 hour span. It was also a six photo Instagram day. Yow.

Actually, I think I do know the cause, but it’s really unflattering and there’s no way I can just come out and say it. What’s a mystery to me is the underlying cause of the cause, if that makes sense. Probably this is just a band aid on a bullet hole, but you can only use the tools you’ve got.

As usual, I invite you to draw your own conclusions, Doctor.

I was right about today being a beast; started wooly and hungry, went feral there around lunchtime, but then started the graceful turn towards tameness as I settled into the rhythms and routines of the studio half of the week. Fuck. Not for the faint of heart, man.

But, as was pointed out to me, I get to make more, to do it again this week, or to at least try. I often fall into the trap of thinking I have to do it; really, I don’t. It’s a luxury piled atop other luxuries. And nothing tightens me up and makes me an unresponsive, unimaginative, shitty thrower like feeling all that pressure of obligation. Why even bother, if it’s gonna be like that?

I listened to the Michael Simon episode of the Red Clay Rambler podcast again. I think this was the second time, but it might have been the third. I needed something to yank my mind off of rehashing every social interaction from three busy days at the office it goes at it like scouring the only lifeboat for leaks, even when I beg it to stop. Something to put those compute cycles into the clay. So I went straight to the big guns; it helped.

Damn, there are so many great moments in that interview. Ben did a wonderful job teasing them out, getting into the thick of it. It slowed me down a lot, having to keep wiping the throwing slip off my hands and scribbling down things MS said with a pencil in my notebook (some of which I’m sure I already wrote down the last time, and probably already stuck in one of these blogs at some point). But when I’m listening to one of my heros, and he seems to be getting at core truths… well, that’s a no brainer.

I guess it’d have been smarter to just stop working and sit and listen with my eyes closed. On the other hand, those little bowls and going to have already do have a record of the end waves of Michael and Ben’s voices etched into them as they spun past. Maybe, in just the right light at just the right time of just the right day, to just the right person in just the right frame of mind, it’ll even show. That’d be swell.

Oh, and I drank the last of my coffee out of the one little cup of his I have, on permanent, incredibly generous loan from the ever present Witt. It was, well, damn near perfect.

On the other hand, maybe it's worth even more than two fifty.

A post shared by Scott Cooper (@stearth) on Oct 5, 2017 at 6:09am PDT